Michael Bay diarrhea
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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