he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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