living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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