Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Who died my cat blue again?
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
