I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
