You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
not ubering you a puppy
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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