Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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