you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dicks are not precious.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize