I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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