just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize