is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
