when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
