My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
