billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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