Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
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I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
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This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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