You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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