I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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