WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
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