this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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