I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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