some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
All I want is dick and wine.
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