just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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