Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
