Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
