Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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