A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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