Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize