everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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