Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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