Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
