i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
