Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
