whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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