when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
