If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
