K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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