Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Randomize
