Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
