idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize