She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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