we're blogging at a bar
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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