i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
