he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
