Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Randomize
