I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
