I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
party gras won. party gras always wins.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
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