Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just pee around me
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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