I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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