I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
