Texts From Last Night

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  (416): View more from Ontario

  I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.

  (1-416): View more from Ontario

  u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u

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  (416): I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck. (1-416): u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u http://tfl.nu/rica
  Replies (16) Good night (1174) Bad night (3796)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???

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  (770): Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives??? http://tfl.nu/8m9c
  Replies (65) Good night (7372) Bad night (1465)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired

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  (314): The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired http://tfl.nu/0mk4
  Replies (12) Good night (4411) Bad night (851)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well

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  (318): Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well http://tfl.nu/57uf
  Replies (8) Good night (801) Bad night (2836)
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  (607): View more from New York

  Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth

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  (607): Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth http://tfl.nu/3kds
  Replies (8) Good night (1487) Bad night (628)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose

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  (216): I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose http://tfl.nu/hd86
  Replies (18) Good night (1957) Bad night (719)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with

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  (989): Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with http://tfl.nu/ctqs
  Replies (11) Good night (1483) Bad night (724)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together

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  (306): We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together http://tfl.nu/varl
  Replies (4) Good night (1441) Bad night (778)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.

  (1+44): View more from

  Doesn't she keep a spare?

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.

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  (+44): You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys. (1+44): Doesn't she keep a spare? (+44): Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans. http://tfl.nu/5sic
  Replies (7) Good night (2805) Bad night (1119)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments

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  (314): I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments http://tfl.nu/h9el
  Replies (7) Good night (522) Bad night (1253)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!

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  (765): Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you! http://tfl.nu/2ivd
  Replies (5) Good night (1668) Bad night (575)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.

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  (574): I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her. http://tfl.nu/9498
  Replies (2) Good night (1985) Bad night (424)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned

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  (908): And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned http://tfl.nu/t8ci
  Replies (8) Good night (907) Bad night (350)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.

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  (757): She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night. http://tfl.nu/eco5
  Replies (8) Good night (415) Bad night (1397)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.

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  (501): I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest. http://tfl.nu/ic86
  Replies (2) Good night (502) Bad night (212)

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