can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
