Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.

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  (215): Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win. http://tfl.nu/ky57
  Replies (18) Good night (4139) Bad night (754)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow

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  (240): ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow http://tfl.nu/mdzc
  Replies (10) Good night (2667) Bad night (679)
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  (845): View more from New York

  i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.

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  (845): i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning. http://tfl.nu/8v63
  Replies (19) Good night (1052) Bad night (6044)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.

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  (617): creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack. http://tfl.nu/jtst
  Replies (3) Good night (1124) Bad night (4321)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.

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  (631): I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend. http://tfl.nu/oodk
  Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (2406)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex

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  (716): He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex http://tfl.nu/jqzk
  Replies (5) Good night (2937) Bad night (1027)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...

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  (319): Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts... http://tfl.nu/b46l
  Replies (13) Good night (2019) Bad night (848)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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  (904): Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded http://tfl.nu/j9mq
  Replies (2) Good night (1022) Bad night (566)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.

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  (207): I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me. http://tfl.nu/zr5q
  Replies (9) Good night (1471) Bad night (520)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.

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  (207): If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it. http://tfl.nu/bcke
  Replies (3) Good night (780) Bad night (485)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.

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  (614): telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though. http://tfl.nu/tou6
  Replies (11) Good night (1827) Bad night (533)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.

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  (617): The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight. (1-617): Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it. http://tfl.nu/ikoi
  Replies (7) Good night (1786) Bad night (440)
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  (310): View more from California

  Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.

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  (310): Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure. http://tfl.nu/ptmp
  Replies (2) Good night (690) Bad night (352)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure

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  (787): I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure http://tfl.nu/bq2q
  Replies (2) Good night (365) Bad night (600)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(

  (1-978): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Or a taco

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  (978): I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :( (1-978): I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars (978): Or a taco http://tfl.nu/jd6f
  Replies (6) Good night (682) Bad night (265)

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