The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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