i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
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