She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
