And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Randomize
