It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Randomize