Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
