First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
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