she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
