Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
