North Korea, Best Korea!
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
