mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
